Challenging or obstructive workplace relationships can mean the difference between a highly positive job and an intolerable one. However, you can apply effective strategies to improve and transform the relationships to where they become beneficial business partners, mentors, or colleagues. It requires purpose, persistence, and patience to identify the right formula for understanding, navigating, and adapting to the styles of others.
One approach is to strive to understand the stylistic norms and drivers of those we seek to have better relations with. Both Myers Briggs Type Indicator and the DiSC Assessment have four core styles that, when mixed in different combinations, each identify multiple personality types. Meyers Briggs has sixteen, and DiSC has twelve different types. There are many different personal styles to try and figure out, but it can be done successfully with research, observation, and interaction.
Some behavioral characteristics to assess include how they engage in communicating, reasoning, approaching work, taking in information, and reacting to stress. Knowing what drives them to stress, their pet peeves, professional needs, and interests can also be helpful in learning how to best interact with them. By understanding your boss or colleague better, you can adjust your style to make you more receptive to their preferences. The bottom line, you cannot manage or affect what you cannot understand, rationalize, and adapt to. Everyone has stylistic drivers that affect how they show up, including you. Your boss or colleagues must also understand your style preferences and norms as a counterbalance. To optimally interact with you, they need to know your style and what drives you to present yourself as you do.
Another approach is to try to be empathetic to what they may be experiencing. I realize that this can be quite difficult, but doing so allows you to establish a connection that fosters understanding and communication when you attempt to see things from their perspective. Ultimately, having empathy for the crosses they may bear can lead to building needed rapport. Empathy is a powerful tool to use to your advantage when trying to engineer a more effective relationship. Showing empathy and changing your approach is not surrendering or giving up your values to get along. It is being smart and using a bit of psychology to win the relationship.
A third approach is to seek information correctly and convey your messages clearly. This involves active listening on your part, asking relevant and timely questions, confirming their requests and points of view, validating their understanding of your messaging, and being concise in your communication. Give them only what they ask for and value, which is often different from what you think they need. By mastering these skills, you can better align with them and communicate your opinions in a way that resonates and enables you to work towards common goals.
Maintaining a positive attitude when interacting with difficult people is also important. Adopting a can-do mindset and being sincerely open to a positive relationship can help you learn and grow. Believe you can turn even the most challenging person into a valuable teammate, and lean into the challenge of doing so. Sometimes that means professionally and tactfully seeking to have the “difficult conversation” that you know you should have to get on the same page and fix the problem. With the right strategies and attitude, you can overcome communication challenges and emerge stronger and more successful than ever before.
As you incorporate these approaches, prioritizing self-care is crucial. Sometimes you have to withdraw yourself from the person and situation for a period of time to allow a cooler head to prevail. Taking breaks when necessary, setting personal boundaries, and finding ways to manage stress and anxiety are all vital strategies to ensure that you maintain your well-being and in the face of adversity. Exercise, quiet time, and talking with others you respect and trust and who know the other player(s) can be helpful. This can give you an opportunity to reframe your thinking and avoid in-the-moment reactions that you will regret. By utilizing the right strategies and attitude, you can turn a difficult situation and relationship into an opportunity for personal and professional growth to emerge stronger and more successful than you thought possible.
As a review, to transform difficult relationships.
- Understand the styles of others
- Harnessing the power of empathy
- Seek and convey clear messages
- Maintain a positive attitude
- Prioritizing self-care
Good luck, and message me if you have questions.
#communication #relationships #conflict #collaboration #harmony #teambuilding
